Unpacked

Like the Russian dolls
I'm standing outside myself looking inwards
dissecting the layers of each mask I wear
for each personality I own
for each circumstance or situation I encounter
or person I deal with
I reach the second last layer and come across a dirty big chunk of granite rock
and I can feel the sheer overpowering pounding of
naked raw vulnerability of innocence
I'm knocked back by the power, overwhelmed by emotions and feelings of inadequacy
warnings pound in my head
I feel great pain, shame, guilt, wrath, injustice...
undeserving of the pure innocence I feel, I picture on the other side of this encasing before me
for the first time in my life
I know who stops me getting close to this treasure
within me
for the first time in my life
I can name the booming voice that shoves me away
whenever I try approaching...
it is me

freeflowpoet

We Share

I don't have many material possessions
by societies' standards I'm pretty much a poor man
(until it comes to tax time, of course)
I don't have a wallet overflowing with cash
and more often then not my bank balance reflects all of this
I never completed the last year of our school system
and I don't hold degrees or diplomas
yet I'm schooled in things the systems can never teach
and I know the ins and out of empathy and compassion
like the back of my hand
I understand the plight of those who struggle
I also understand the desire and drive that makes 'man' want more than the next
I understand what it means to start off in life (on your own two feet) without the basics
Don't need to explain hate or injustice to me
don't need to tell me about ulterior motives and sin
don't need to explain demons and angels or the Devil and 'God'
(however 'he' appears to you or you understand 'him')
But at the end of the day I'm content and grateful
maybe I won't experience somethings that enrich life...
like the flashy sports car
the large mansion or house on a huge block
the experience of giving birth
of being a natural mother
or sharing my life with the love of my life
then again maybe there's still so much more in life for me to experience
to live
but right here, right now
I am truly happy
I have faith
I have a full spirit within
No one ever said life was easy
and 'man' is such a complex creature with all our emotions and abilities (or lack of!)
but I count myself richer than any millionaire
for I have more than I need in other forms than material things and dollars
and it nourishes me even more
when I give a hand to another human being
when someone else gets that glint in their eyes...
knowing 'man' that cares for 'his' neighbor
still exists in this world
(we share)

freeflowpoet

Humanity

Keep whipping me, with each lash I'm dying a little more inside
but I'll grit my teeth and take it like a 'man'
I feel my faith in humanity wearing thin
things like empathy, compassion, truth, honor, justice and love
are getting lost amongst
things like greed, self preservation, hate, lies and dollar signs
I'm not sure which is the voice of reason anymore
part of me inside
screams
"give up, just walk away, you're wasting your time trying to fight a losing battle for humanity"
while I'm crying out
"I'm not forgetting all those who fought to teach me these values, I can't let machinery of 'progression' overwhelm and beat us all"
I will take the punishment for the greater good
I'm not God, but I'm a believer in redemption
and a product of greed and sin
just looking for someone to cleanse my slate, just waiting for my skin to fall away
and my angels' wings to spread

freeflowpoet

Pink Ribbon

Alone, left to listen to my own thoughts
I'm overwhelmed by the evil man, like myself
are truly capable of
I feel this demon inside me
tearing, ripping, beating, shredding
purity, innocence, compassion and empathy
I hear the hiss in my own hidden voice, condemning me
pure hatred for what it labels weakness, softness
mockingly taunting myself, reigning over screaming over and over
"do you like being walked over, does it feel good to be trampled upon, you LOVE getting screwed over little one, huh YOU must for you keep believing you really make a difference, they really care what you do
You disgust me!"
Voices become images, so real
I feel like I'm being consumed from within
My mind so scattered I can't recall the prayers for God to grant me serenity
I try to find my voice, I stutter through the verses
knowing it's wrong, but still trying never the less...
Yes I believe,
man may claw compassion and empathy from their consciences and hearts
but there does exist goodness in some
and come morning, when the torture's done
I will bare pink ribbon as sutures
holding my compassion and empathy together
firm and strong

freeflowpoet

Dark Path/Free Grasp

Come walk with me
I know it's darkness that suffocates you
but trust me, I know this place
my eyes have grown accustom, in time yours will too
If you survive...

The heat wraps around every sense, it freezes while it burns
Are you afraid, afraid of, me?
You should be...
My love is precious like life
one kiss like addiction, Oh you will crave
more
(more of me)

Do not, whatever you do
listen to the haunting whispers that you will hear
desire to hold is certain death or life in madness
whichever is worse, I'm not sure yet
cause my heart and soul still pulse as one
*innocent smile of a child*
Come follow me, walk this path ahead
(trust me)

What is this rock, this rock that seems to beat
the case of which looks harder than diamond, blacker than night?
Why do I wear these chains around my ankles?
If I'm here and you're here too
Wait! How did you come to find me, who let you in?
Are you an angel...
or another demon to torture me some more?

"I am light, I am you"
How is it possible, how can you be me
and yet I am facing you?
"I am light, I am choice, I am reason"
This is madness, I'm talking to myself
Oh god have I lapsed and truly driven myself insane?

Follow me, take my hand
I will not harm us, you will soon understand...
Trust in your own self
take thy hand and follow where I lay
see not with human eyes but with purity of God
...do you believe?

We all have choice
We all have will (self and God driven)...
Well, what will you choose?

A substance fueled delusion, an empty shell
darkness inside and out?


freeflowpoet

Holding On To Hope

When the darkness sweeps across my gaze
cuts my sight off from my higher power
I know I don't have to search far for a ray of hope
Kneeling down, head lowered
conversing with God
While there's so many things that feel wrong in my life
I know God is guarding me from more than
I can handle
(If I keep my heart and mind focused)
and everything in this world isn't just about my self will
Yeah
I may come across swamped in darkness and wallowing in self pity
but I just need to unload so my soul can breathe
(chipping away the granite encasing my heart)
so I can see the beautiful people and things around me,
so I can truly be grateful for everything I've overcome and experienced

freeflowpoet

Lets dance

*EXPLICIT CONTENT*

Slipping out of the room while you're rambling on
if I was hooked up to a heart monitor it'd be showing
flatline
I'm out and you're so self serving you haven't a fucking clue
Who has their hand up your ass making you say this shit?
Do you even believe the shit flowing from your mouth
cause you lost me when you dropped the cards you held,
when you mistook me for a fool
(cause you can't beat a full house with all single cards)
Hollow promises littering the ground
words that mean nothing
are all you brought to the table
You should've made sure I was gone before you walked away
cause I'll not just disappear without a fight
I'll make sure you're gonna be so sorry now bitch
The gloves are on...
lets dance
Motherfucker

freeflowpoet