Monday, September 5, 2016

Don't You Judge Me No More...

My eyes are puffy, the skin's blotchy & itchy as hell
Between not sleeping at night & breaking down several times a day
I'm doing the best that I can
and you can fuck right off, if all you got is your God damn opinions & judgements
Go on, threaten me with  consequences
Boy, I don't give a damn 
you mean nothing in my world
so keep flapping those gums, I'm not hearing anything you've got to say (run that mouth)
If you wanna say I'm falling apart & not good enough...keep it up (keep it up)
As if I'm not beating myself up enough, already
Everything I've ever done wrong, every shitty thing
is haunting me
Every time I close my eyes
the devil's showing me flash cards of my blackened history, telling me it's not over...
that's the real me
I try to smash the mirror he appears in
but how can I smash myself up side the head?
I know in my heart, they just mistakes & poor choices I once made
That ain't me no more, I'm changing everyday 
working to be a better daughter, friend, person (maybe a lover, one day)
Black skies and thunder clouds 
I'm my own worst critic
I don't need no more judgements
bringing me down
I already think I'm shitty enough
in this head space
Nothing's gonna change how I'm feeling right now, but feeling everything that's washing over me
Nothing's gonna fix me, but me believing in myself 
but me challenging the bullshit on loop, within
And fuck you, your judgements 
ain't bloody helping me
(so keep it to yourself x2)