Monday, May 23, 2016


The lights have faded from her eyes
her clothes hide the bruises from another lost fight
her tears fall but no one cares, she's not worth saving, she'll never be anything
The exchanges occur, she's become what they said she would and a lot worse
She picks up her clothes off the floor, as the unnamed John throws cash in her face and slaps her ass as she slinks ashamed & degraded out the door
She takes the baggy, he takes the cash
She hides in some public restroom
draws up the mix and shoots herself with one shot...
hoping this will fix everything, or just take away her pain
Night comes, so does another few strange Johns
Knocked up & knocked around
Drugged up & numbed down 
another nightmare, wakes in a hospital
she just wishes it would all end
She saids she has no fight left, the nurse mumbles apologies, her baby's gone
hands her a script for some pills and a follow up appointment card...
she has no intention of going any how
She crushes the last few pills left from the bottle she got that morning, half of em where her breakfast washed down with some cheap flat alcohol 
and now the last get added to the speedball mix
A ghost amongst packed city streets, she walks by unseen
but now there's a real reason no one sees her
She's no longer society's scum, she's just another overdose case...
No love



I don't need you to love me
even though I want you to
I'm not going to pretend trauma hasn't left its mark upon me
but I know today, I'm loveable and love ain't gonna kill me like hate nearly did
I love the beauty of innocence in my eyes,
I no longer feel repulsed by my reflection in the mirror
There's a softness in me, my humanity 
no one suffocated that fire within,
no one destroyed it or broke it (nor me)
I may have tried to ignore it, bury it under wrath, pain and drugs
but I was raised with genes of strong stock
and if life has taught me anything 
I know yesterday doesn't define me
but my actions today will