Wednesday, November 11, 2015

I Guess It Is...Goodbye

I guess it's a chapter closed
so many similarities, my gut's telling me
its gotta be you
and the conflicting feelings start
Man, you taught me what love felt like
swept me off my feet
the moment my eyes saw you
sitting across the foyer from me
You showed me what a gentleman truly was
never made me feel uncomfortable 
or untrusting of you,
never had me checking or questioning 
your motives
I can't believe the amount of times
you had me sitting on the kitchen floor
daylight turning into night,
night into morning light
and still we found more things to say
I'd play with the telephone cord
listening to your voice
listening to your silence, imagining you
not wanting to say goodbye, not wanting to be 
the one to hang up...
I fondly recall our intimate moments 
still can't forget those eyes
(those green grey eyes *sigh*)
It was I not you, who feared you meeting
my family
I softly protested saying I didn't want you feeling rushed
while in my head I was overwhelmed 
but man, so far head over heels
in love (yep, love!)
I remember the tears and heartache when we ended us
I remember your body wrapped around the hollow shell
I became...
my past destroyed beauty once again
I lost you right there,
you lost me and couldn't reach me again
...I heard you, felt you slow, felt you trying to
comfort me
(but I was gone, disassociated)
I've never thought rejection could hurt so much
never thought it'd be me, causing such pain
to myself, to, to you
how can love be so powerless 
that it wasn't enough to save us?
While I was sad we ended the way we did
I have never been so grateful,
never regretted what we shared
You taught me real love, that I was worth
knowing it
We faded as the years passed
then you were just a memory...
tried a few times to chase you up
but your number soon went from
a strangers voice on the other end
to forgotten (you moved on, moved on)
Then out of the blue I try once more to find you
and I'm still trying to deny the similarities 
but I came across an archived death notice 
...from what I could read
it said you died 2012, 35 years old
REALLY! No, no don't want it to be
but the haunting similarities...
what a way to have said goodbye, I'm sorry
yet no I'm not

11/11/15 freeflowpoet