Monday, April 25, 2011

Slivers of my personality

Shattered mirror reflects back the shattered soul of the one who broke it
and here before you I stand in pieces
Watching you walk through my life as I'm left in your laid blows
and venom spewed words
I bet you didn't expect me to extract revenge in slivers
like this...
Standing over your broken body, I've spilled enough of your blood now
to know I've taken my power back
Standing in the corner, I'm cowering in disbelief
knowing the evil I've done in snapped wrath
but it's all too late to take it back
forgive me child
Mother told me to walk away every time, today I didn't
today was too late I know
forgive me God
I tried to hear your voice amongst my emotions, but your respect didn't save me
would you give me the strength needed
now I need to own what I've done, unleashed hell from within
forgive me all my victims
I didn't know what evil I brought upon you, just that I'd had enough of being your victim
time after time
Will I ever pull myself together, was I ever whole to begin with?
In the mirror I still see the red gleam in my eyes
I still see the glitter of innocence within my falling tears
I still see the women you see upon inspection
and the child within


Sunday, April 24, 2011


I don't fit any category you try to place me in
I have never found the one place I truly belong
but hey I'm OK with that,
I love challenging stereotypes and people's comfort zones,
mixing things up and crossing things over
I love soft melodies to hard metal and rap
I love strolling along the beach and crowd surfing in a mosh pit
I love romantic dinners in candle lights and sweet scented soaks in the bath
I love turning my music up loud and playing video games for hours on end
I even love snuggling wrapped in a lovers arms
or sneaking out before I get caught doing a 'walk of shame' the next morning!
Hell, I'm just human
I don't fit your idea of a women, but I assure you I am
I don't fit your idea of a straight women, but I don't care
cause it's none of your business anyway
I speak what's on my mind, while speaking from the heart as well
I am not a label nor will I wear one
If I offend you or scare you with my thoughts and experiences
I'm not sorry
it's just how I reflect and grow


Wednesday, April 20, 2011


Shadows on an alley wall of my cage I'm performing in,
for your sick twisted fantasy
I see the orgasm in your lusting feasting eyes,
devoid of human essence in a belittled and once bullied soul
I'm every insult laid upon you,
I'm every fist, belt and hand
that has reigned down upon you
I'm the very reflection of your loss of control and now you're forcing me to submit to your will...
These tears don't just fall
screaming my fearfulness of being stripped
but they fall cause I have already departed from sanity and condemned
us both tonight
My eyes close as I bathe the night from my hands and face
the all to familiar sting tells
me the water's running red
and yet I don't remember climbing into a bed,
it's been so long since I've seen a beautiful day and a calm night
All that's on my mind is a crave for
purity and innocence,
as another substance fixes this fuzzy TV set
In the sunrise of that dingy cell you robbed me
you lay wrapped in the bruises of my wounds
May your actions haunt you
like your actions haunt me,
I am women but the battle scars of evil doings mean
I'll never hand down my line naturally
I am women but the wars I've started, won and lost have left me with
a reputation of 'one of the boys'
(a toy to use, to rough to love)
Nameless demons in flesh
to many to remember, to many to forget...
God please show this tired soul mercy
I've been robbed of more than


My True Reality

You think I'm so strong, so sure of the path I'm on
You should spend a day inside my head
I'm filling the syringe as my mouth spews forth the shit
you've come to believe I believe
I'm an active death squad of fear, of losing everything I've built myself up to be today
Maybe I should pick up the phone
talk to my sponsor or
my positive peers...
Maybe I can't be bothered fighting this losing battle anymore,
yeah damn you
THIS is the validated victim
screaming fuck you, fuck your
'if it isn't heard, it isn't reality' bullshit
Tight grip around the hand of the hand of the image behind what you see in the mirror
I'm not this respectable, role model whose sole purpose is
to teach, preach and save
other lost souls...
Sorry but my truth is
I'm not
at peace
with what has been my lot
You've had your amends, but where are mine?
Within the darkness of my silent heart,
I'm at peace
of bowing out the way you judged me
all those years ago now...
I'm already dead inside


Saturday, April 2, 2011

Why, you ask...

Sliding in
electricity shooting through me, 100 miles an hour
I can't catch my breath, breathless
weak at the knees, feeling your touch deep within
slowing down the thoughts racing inside my head
all I hear is your sweetness echoing to my heartbeat, slowing to some kind of pleasure
I've never felt before
Still lingering in every sense known to man and the new ones you've opened up in my third eye
warmth in an embrace so light, yet so safe and secure
nothing matters but being here with this incredible love
I want more already
I want to chase you until the very end of existence
your warmth ooh how it radiates from within, shivers on my skin...
How could I not love this?