Monday, April 25, 2011

Slivers of my personality

Shattered mirror reflects back the shattered soul of the one who broke it
and here before you I stand in pieces
Watching you walk through my life as I'm left in your laid blows
and venom spewed words
I bet you didn't expect me to extract revenge in slivers
like this...
Standing over your broken body, I've spilled enough of your blood now
to know I've taken my power back
Standing in the corner, I'm cowering in disbelief
knowing the evil I've done in snapped wrath
but it's all too late to take it back
forgive me child
Mother told me to walk away every time, today I didn't
today was too late I know
forgive me God
I tried to hear your voice amongst my emotions, but your respect didn't save me
would you give me the strength needed
now I need to own what I've done, unleashed hell from within
forgive me all my victims
I didn't know what evil I brought upon you, just that I'd had enough of being your victim
time after time
Will I ever pull myself together, was I ever whole to begin with?
In the mirror I still see the red gleam in my eyes
I still see the glitter of innocence within my falling tears
I still see the women you see upon inspection
and the child within
(saved)

freeflowpoet

3 comments:

  1. Being addressed as the second person to your first person is quite a violent technique in this poem. It's raw, and makes me feel as though I, the reader, am the one you despise. You use it a lot; it's very direct.

    I think that in this line: "but it's all to late to take it back" that first "to" should be "too".

    I wonder what you meant by the phrase "but your respect didn't save me"?

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  2. Thank you for pointing out the editing needs, excuse me there for my heart/soul why my expression stems from doesn't pay attention to grammar all the time! I have made the correction - feedback is very welcomed.
    Yes writing in that style of first and second person is a way for me to express the conflicting masks (maybe even personalities).
    I have always felt a connection to another part of me within, as a child and teen I thought of it as an acknowledgment of me having a soul, as I'm learnt about counseling/psychology I see it now as like an adapted ego state, I see it as a true part of myself. I'm at conflict as to which is my truer self, the soft nurturing side (which most see once they spend time with me) or the 'monster'/self centered, egotistical side (which I tend to hide, but struggle with - it was there before my addictions kicked in but was magnified by that environment), which am I really, I'm scared that my truth is...
    The phrase "but your respect didn't save me" is my admitting to my higher power (a God of my understanding) that in this instance or these times, I acted on self will - I let the sin of wrath consume and overtake my sense of control.

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  3. where I have written heart/soul, the next word is meant to be where not why

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