My True Reality

You think I'm so strong, so sure of the path I'm on
You should spend a day inside my head
I'm filling the syringe as my mouth spews forth the shit
you've come to believe I believe
I'm an active death squad of fear, of losing everything I've built myself up to be today
Maybe I should pick up the phone
talk to my sponsor or
my positive peers...
Maybe I can't be bothered fighting this losing battle anymore,
yeah damn you
THIS is the validated victim
screaming fuck you, fuck your
'if it isn't heard, it isn't reality' bullshit
Tight grip around the hand of the hand of the image behind what you see in the mirror
I'm not this respectable, role model whose sole purpose is
to teach, preach and save
other lost souls...
Sorry but my truth is
I'm not
at peace
with what has been my lot
You've had your amends, but where are mine?
Within the darkness of my silent heart,
I'm at peace
of bowing out the way you judged me
all those years ago now...
I'm already dead inside

freeflowpoet