Tuesday, November 7, 2017

I Know They're Lies Today

Listening to a rapper,
spitting lines about not feeling like a person
cause a man took their innocence,
told them a ton of lies, like
Shh, this love is between us, don't tell anyone
It'll tear your loved ones apart, to know I love you more...
I remember being told so many justifications,
I remember being humiliated, when I spoke up
I remember being ignored (like it was some kind of joke, I just didn't get)...I took it to mean no one gave a fuck, when this was supposed to be wrong, I took that to mean I wasn't worth defending, I deserved this (over and over, for years).
It's taken time and there's still lingering scars
I can't shake, but accommodate now
There's still times when those lies try and scream, for my attention
but I know the truth
know I'm not responsible for those crimes against me,
I know I'm only responsible for how I react now
and I care for my inner child, (unlike she was cared for when I was her)
My self worth may wane at times,
though I'm actually proud of how I turned out,
once I stopped running, numbing and harming myself
Once I started healing me, once I challenged what I felt and believed (saw it for what it was, reactions to lies)
I love who I am
I love that I survived...
Nah, scrap that...
I love that today I choose to thrive

freeflowpoet

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