Words Left Unsaid

I know one day I'll have to face it
that you, my loved one
will be gone from this place
that day will be the saddest
like no other sad day
cause you're not a loved one
if you don't mean something special
to the one who professes it
But that is for another poem
this is about
how special and dear
you are to me
I used to think my greatest fear
was the wrath I know
simmers inside me
yet in a moment of life reflection
(thinking of what you mean to me)
I saw, I think for the first time
my true fear is not anger
it is love...
I worry about you not being around
I feel deep pain, in those memories
(we know those times)
I cannot stand to think...
I'm sorry for any hurt or pain
I have or even...will, may or may not
cause you
'I love you' sounds so corny
when coming from
one's truth
How can I protect you?
(I know it's not my job)
How many tears will I shed
when goodbye must be said?
I don't know angel
I just know I will always love you

One Hand, Two Sides

Somedays I struggle to believe I'm here
cause I can recall days when
everything I see
is empty, too dark
I've poured out my humanity
on sheets of littered paper
way before I could even read
or name the things I felt
name the things I saw
like a flashback of my sins
I see the glint of the knives
flung free in frenzy rage
held against the threats...
I see the red blood run
over my bare fists
and out from the face
I said I loved, I shared kisses
from those ghosts who tried to steal
not from my pockets
but from...well we all know
how this sentence ends
I've forgotten how refreshing it is
to repent, to cry real tears
I've forgotten how it feels
to be a girl
buried under all the stress
life on life's terms...all the dirt
I see all the empty bottles
dirty bongs and discarded
needles
While within I'm burning alive
in the beauty of another second
chance
And here I stand, full of life

I'm Sorry

I made a 101 mistakes,
had I not I would never of
learnt the lessons I know
of now
Forgive me for not seeing
the corruption doing full circles
Believe me when I say
I love you sweetness
trust me when I say
don't follow the footsteps I leave
(not those I've left)
I see the pain
looking out my own eyes
sweetness - I do understand
your silence
open your mouth and speak your anger...
I know I deserve it...child