I Know They're Lies Today

Listening to a rapper,
spitting lines about not feeling like a person
cause a man took their innocence,
told them a ton of lies, like
Shh, this love is between us, don't tell anyone
It'll tear your loved ones apart, to know I love you more...
I remember being told so many justifications,
I remember being humiliated, when I spoke up
I remember being ignored (like it was some kind of joke, I just didn't get)...I took it to mean no one gave a fuck, when this was supposed to be wrong, I took that to mean I wasn't worth defending, I deserved this (over and over, for years).
It's taken time and there's still lingering scars
I can't shake, but accommodate now
There's still times when those lies try and scream, for my attention
but I know the truth
know I'm not responsible for those crimes against me,
I know I'm only responsible for how I react now
and I care for my inner child, (unlike she was cared for when I was her)
My self worth may wane at times,
though I'm actually proud of how I turned out,
once I stopped running, numbing and harming myself
Once I started healing me, once I challenged what I felt and believed (saw it for what it was, reactions to lies)
I love who I am
I love that I survived...
Nah, scrap that...
I love that today I choose to thrive

freeflowpoet

Dance

I outstretch my hand to invite you in
let you share this stage, with me
only to twirl away, flashing teasing eyes and a cheeky grin
I drop to the floor, watch the curiosity upon your face
I draw you back in with an invitation, call you back with a movement of my finger
jump back up to my feet,
stand in your personal space
then without warning, I shove you away
and spin away, out of reach
I see the frustration cloud your beautiful face,
I slide over, run my gentlest touch over your features (shh), wrap my arms around you
hold the embrace, slow the tempo down
slow dance, walk in life with you
I see the uncertainty in your eyes, I'm afraid to
How dare you even think about leaving me here, alone
I run my hands down your chest, place my palms against your beating heart
Bang, thud, crash
I push you down hard, away from me
I desperately reach out for your arms, as you turn away
No, please don't leave me (I don't want you, yes I do, I hate you, no I don't, you're gonna hurt me, so i'll hurt me for you, I'll leave you first)
Dance

freeflowpoet