Cracks in the pavement

Memories wax and wane,

nothing sticks too long these days

I’m free from the chains that once bound me

I don’t need to revisit old scars

or those demons who carved into me,

I don’t need to forgive them, only myself…

I loved the feeling of belonging,

I craved it, would sell my morals just to feel the illusion of it…didn’t see it then,

but an illusion was all it ever was

freedom came the day I cut the chains

and I’m not bitter

I got the time to earn the real thing

and I now won’t accept anything less for myself

It ain’t selfish, it’s real and the truthful shit,

It was never easy, working everything out and working through what was mine and what I wasn’t to blame for (some people will still label me from either what they know of my past or what they think they know from the gossip vines)…I don’t care baby, I just don’t care

this is where I won’t survive the concrete jungle, anymore

I thrive outside of it

freeflowpoet

Aftertaste, it is bitter (maybe it’s not)

 I lost me in the space between

give and take

I feel the waves radiating over me,

atoms separating physical from 

mental form

I’ve lost myself, can’t feel identity…

or anything

Am I even a living being?

Fractured and afraid, fractured and unafraid 

This distorted place, she is me

no, she is not

time is an illusion, 

I am not the beginning, nor am I the end…

Spinning within, warmth is coldness’s best friend

numbness again, I don’t feel a thing

yet, I know everything about me…

or whoever this is

Peel it away, strip it down, dumb the senses and call it medicine 

rate it 5/10, that’s 11/10 for those who’ve never felt 

heatwaves from concrete, metal & bone imploding, wrapping 

Survival is a better outcome then death

but it still comes at a cost

At the crossroads I turned down a deal…still tongue kissed the devil

while denying him

It’s ok, I’m back again

my identity never left

I never left

freeflowpoet 

Bucking

 I try to reign in and control this stallion, called life but he's not broken in, though he's broken me a few times   and every time I get thrown off, I swear that bastard laughs.                                   I try to pull tight on the reins and dig in to his side.                                               but it's all an illusion, there's no reins in my hands...                                               So how in the fu*k, do I let go?...How does taking my hands off the wheel, give me control?... there's a secret child, you don't have it, never have and never will, it's life after all                 you're only power is in how you choose to react or respond...Letting go is more a mindset, than a mind fu*k...               as long as you can surrender the illusion that you're in control.              Just live each moment as you can, changing only what is yours to mould and mend...live life, on life's terms

freefloepoet