I'm sitting in my thoughts cause it hurts too much when I sit in my heart
I can't drown out the beatings my experiences gave me, all I desire is forgiveness
I still blame myself for throttling my guardian angel & accepting the devil's servant's offerings...
hold on, I was a fu*king child - how is everything my fault, explain it to me?
My heart is breaking, it doesn't matter how many times I apologise or change my ways, I still feel I owe you more...
There's so much I want to say still & there's still that acceptance I crave (despite knowing it's mine),
I'm screaming don't leave, I just want a little more time, a little more (God, I'm pleading)
I know time is fleeting, I understand how life and death work,
I understand acceptance but it's so much harder dealing with the heart
In this grief, I'm feeling all alone, drowning in my dried tears
I'm angry at shadows, a ghost from the past (knocking again)
get out of my memories, get out of my mind - you'll never be anything like this man (I love)
as much as I professed, I’ve been told & shown (over & over), there's no love lost
I love more deeply and richly, I love no less than I did at birth...
always my "Sunshine, my only sunshine, you make me happy when skies are grey",
Not the only one I called dad, but ever only the man i've called father
I'm sorry for all the times I wasn't there, for I'll never get those back
and yet, those years have taught me to appreciate family and unconditional love even more
I can't say it enough, I don't feel like I could ever repeat it and it grow old
I love you, I'm hurting that I can't fix your heart...or just give you mine...
I love you and yes I'm crying, cause this goodbye is the one of the hardest I'll have to say,
but I'm grateful for the opportunity that grants me any more time, to tell you,
well my heart will always sing "you are my Sunshine, my only sunshine"...
I love you x
freeflowpoet
