No, I’m not gonna scream my story or
show my battle scars for every MF to hear
but, I promised my younger self
that I’d never silence victimisation, again
Don’t tell me a victim owns any part of any abuse,
don’t say “why didn’t you tell someone”,
until you experience betrayal trauma, over and over…
from authority and those who were meant to protect, not harm
Don’t ask “why wouldn’t they just leave, why would someone stay”…until you experience losing all your choice and autonomy
until you experience crippling fear of losing a sense of psychological safety or loss deeper than material stuff,
ignorant MF!
Even the majority of legal systems
lay the blame solely on the perpetrators (the gaps are not the argument of this piece - stop trying to change the script)
I can speak about the damage of secrecy
It’s not love or friendship child, it’s not your secret to cherish or fu*kin’ carry…scream it until someone hears you - don’t stuff it down , there will always be someone who knows right from wrong…and a drug won’t fix something that’s not broken, it won’t numb the horrors endured (Tupac was right when he sang “they win when your soul dies”).
I can speak about manipulation and grooming,
I also know how lonely being indoctrinated into false belonging, how intoxicating just a red flag soaked in loyalty dressed as whispered love, feels
I can speak of becoming so messy, lost to addiction
I can speak of losing everything, including myself…and a connection to faith…
I can also speak about not just surviving,
but thriving,
finding beauty amongst the concrete jungle,
stopped sitting amongst snakes and running with hyenas
experiencing healing, inside out
and living a life beyond what I ever thought this child was destined for or deserved…
I walked away from toxicity with prayers (not hate)
and chased a full heart, serenity & purpose…
Don’t expect silence from me!
freeflowpoet
