Hush Little Child

Forgive my silence (it maybe for awhile)
there's a storm brewing within my heart
and I'm just a loner standing on the shore
(wind blowing through me, not a stir but for the sand)
All these images for dramatic effect now,
to draw attention away from my falling tears
My mind is still in this moment
(hush child the pain has settled now)
yet the self reflection that is starting within
cripples and scares me, tonight
(mother where are you, please hold me tight)
I'm afraid to hear my real truth,
my truth learnt and held on to
about love and intimacy
Cause I know all the conflict and lies
(well maybe they're not lies...that's what I'm afraid of)
Hush little child I've not gone away
I'm standing by your side tonight
Forgive my silence (it maybe for awhile)
there's quiet reflection going on
deep inside a healing heart
tonight

freeflowpoet

Concrete Jungle

Just a leaf out of the dark pages of my 'other' personality!!!

Stalking the shadows who don't belong wandering around my hood
Creeping amongst the ever grey buildings and houses lining these streets
baseball bat covered with filed sharp nails,
raised ready to inflict some thuggish revenge
under the guise of thuggish justice
The cold winds blowing through me just as chilled as my heart
I'm in the mood to show the world my hate and rage,
since my earliest memory was of the world hell bent on destorying me
so here's my pay back...
Welcome to the darkness of this concrete jungle, dark like my desire to hurt you
Come walk around the dry cracked stomping grounds of the monster within
I'm the demon thrown out of hell, cause I was to much for the devil himself
and as I grew into self destruction, taught by your educators and institutions
the child inside curled up and died
when I released a barrage of bullets
from my own gun
pressed firmly against her little innocent head...
If you want to f**k this 'man', then I'll steal her purity from all our grasps
gasp at the harshness of my words
Question how a child of God can become so hard,
Then look beyond what you watch on the world news...
And take another look in that broken mirror I smashed with my fists
before I walked out of childhood into the monster
standing in front of you, middle fingers up
screaming f**k all your constitutions and rules
I'll live my life on my own terms, a free 'man'...
Well as free as I can under your freedom acts
that are meant to protect the innocence of your countrymen
but only act to condemn!

*evil smirk*

freeflowpoet

Kneeling

Down beside the bed
in the howling winds of this darkness swallowing me
I'm searching for God in the depths of hell
with dry tears staining my face, the only light (fading fast) left in this place
I plead with the demons tormenting my mind to let me be
I'm searching for other lost souls, searching to save me...
for God sacrificed one to many angels trying to reach me,
trying to get me to hear the plan in the winds
and as I lay my weapons and hate bare before the darkness that consumed me
and testify to the change that has started shifting somewhere deep within
to anyone who'll listen
I pray I'll find redemption in my fathers' eyes
and my own

freeflowpoet

Seeing through me

What do I have to do?

Walking down the Devils' road, arms out inviting you to save me

come on allow me to go home, collect me as you drive by

(drive by)

The path you want to take has a detour tonight baby,

the path has a suprise for you to spend the rest of your life reliving

while mine will just fade into oblivion

if you do this one little deed here tonight

come on allow me to go home, collect me as you drive by

(drive by)

Young and stupid, a lost soul in hell

tried to buy a one way ticket to heaven, while walking through the fires of hell

Crying here only brought more pain, they tore apart everything I had to bring

stripped me bare and then stripped some more

I only dreamt to be seen by someone who could teach me real love

I only wanted to be seen, not seen through

come on allow me to come home, collect me in the drive by

(drive by)

freeflowpoet

We're Through (The Wrath Is Back)

You don't want to know me

when I'm coming from this dark place,

when I'm in this head space,

the coldness of my heart shows

Every word I speak reflects the vemon

running through my veins

So I'm the sweetest so and so around am I?

So you believe you really know me?

Where were you when I walked the firey roads of hell alone

(You've not known me from birth),

So you're my friend are you?

Where are you these days then?

Our phone calls are getting less and less,

our time spent together has become non-existant

I'm the one who always phones, have you lost my digits

after all this time?

Friendship is a two way street

and I'm turning my back and walking away

from this dead end road.

I hope you hear these words,

I hope they sting like your silence

(feels like an open handed slap to the face)

Your praise of how far I've come

is getting like a tape, old

You deny the spite in the hardass

I came out the womb as,

you deny the hardass

cause you don't like

the truth I've been through or speak of

"That's in the past, you used that to grow"

The past made me this monster standing here now, raw

and my hate is more than just a passing phase

I won't forgive you tomorrow, I won't forgive you again

(and again, and again)

Oh I'm being oversensitive am I?

I hope your tears sting your skin

like these words tear strips from your heart...

We're over,

We're done,

No longer friends.

freeflowpoet

Contridiction

You'll never get to know me fully,

there's to many secrets hidden amongst my heart and soul,

I'll never let you in that far, never let you inside my world

You'll say you'll be there, by my side

You'll say you'll be there to weather all the storms

You'll say you'll love me through all the pain I need to walk through

and baby I believe you

but...

I'll say I'm glad it's you here with me, by my side

I'll say they're not your storms to weather, honey

I'll say anything that'll hurt you...

just to push you away,

just to prove your resolve is false, your love to be hollow

when things get hard, and with me baby they will

But amongst these tears I can't help but mumble how confused I am inside

cause baby I really do love you!

freeflowpoet

Exposing

I'm laying bare my truths amongst these postings

tears forming poems like fingers dancing on the keyboard

I'm peeling away every layer of myself

exposing my emotions, feelings and thoughts

but do you hear anything of the spaces

between my words,

that elude and skim the edges of a reality

I've lived more than half my life?

No matter how hard you find digesting my words

I find it harder to carry them within and live with the after effects

your silence isn't golden, it's denial...

and that hurts and harms more than myself

If I open one set of eyes,

If I assist one 'child of sufference' to find their voice

and so speak out against the evils some monsters inflict on innocence

then my own experiences have not

been in vain

I will continue to write amongst your silence,

I will continue to feel what I do,

I will continue to not let the masses gag me,

I will continue to grow and overcome

the wrongs that have been done to me

I will not just fade away

or lay down and drown

in heavy held back tears (I'll cry freely if I need to)

nor will I

drown within a heavy heart.

I'll not let myself be a powerless victim,

my words shall be my jury granting me my freedom

and perhaps I shall release another from their darkened trap.

freeflowpoet